The Secret 6th Love Language

Hey there, creative souls. Welcome back. Today's post is so much fun - it literally exists to make you feel good. Isn't that nice? How many things out there in the world are not created just to make you feel good?
That's why I'm making this post.

I had this cool experience recently: my own revelation. It made me feel so joyful and good. There was no like, big grand outcome other than it made me feel good. It continues to make me feel good, and I have a feeling that I will share this revelation and it will create the same feeling in you that it created in me. So, let's do it.

Perhaps you've heard of The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman - the idea we give and receive love differently. It helps us understand the deepest relationships in our life and how we can better connect to the people we love. In that book, there are five love languages that the author outlines.

Personal story time: a couple weeks ago I was working really hard preparing my son's ninth birthday party. He had a pirate-themed birthday party and it was the cat's pajamas (or the parrot's tuxedo or whatever you want to call it). It was so much fun. My husband and I went all out because to us, a party is a show and shows are what we do and our kids are who we love.

So we go all out. We planned this big, huge pirate-themed party and I've kind of taken on the role as the mom who makes the cakes and every birthday party = and we have four kids so that's four a year - and with every birthday they request a newer, more badass cake. My cake skills are getting better. I'm having a lot of fun with it and he requests a pirate ship and I'm like, how about a pirate ship getting attacked by a kraken? Let me do you one better. I was so excited and I was sinking hours upon hours into this sinking ship cake leading up to the party. When the big day arrived, we went to the lake party spot ahead of the child and I drew out a treasure map and I hid all the treasure. The treasure map's accurate-ish and I tea-dyed the paper and burnt and crumbled it.

It was like, oh my god. I had to laugh at myself a little because how hard I was going in on this party? I was so excited and I was having so much fun creating all of these pieces to be a part of my son's ninth birthday party.
I felt so much joy that I nearly brought tears to my eyes just delivering all of these creative goods to my son on his big day.

At that party that day, I had this little aha moment. I think someone there was kind of playfully giving me crap for spending 12+ hours making a birthday cake.

I said, “Creativity is my love language.”

Immediately I knew that is not one of the five love languages that is outlined in the book… so I started to think back to the book and I was like, "Well, I guess you can maybe wrap it in and call it acts of service or gift giving. It would kind of be closely tied to those."

And then I was like, "You know, it's not though, because an act of service can be unloading the dishwasher. That is not creative. Gift giving can be pushing buy on Amazon. That is not the same thing.”

I realized that creativity really is another love language. It's another form of giving love. I've mentioned this before - I write my husband at least one poem a year. Sometimes it's for Valentine's, sometimes it's for anniversaries, sometimes it's for Christmas, it's when I feel inspired, but at least one poem a year. I will do that sometimes over buying him gifts because it just feels so magnificent, and it feels so much more special because the poem, I guarantee you, will outlast the sweater.

Creativity really is my love language. When I had that aha moment, it just filled me up so much inside. I'm so grateful to acknowledge this, and identify it as my superpower. This is what I'm really good at, and I really love doing this so much that my eyes are getting a little teary right now.

I started thinking about, "Well, does this only extend to like my family, to my kids, my husband? Immediate family?"

And I went, "No, absolutely not. Because when I write a script or when I get on stage to perform, that is my creativity expanding out. And the recipients of that love are the people in my audience, are the people who are receiving my creative delivery, my art.”

I'm sharing this with you today because I know that you're a creative, and I'm almost certain that creativity is also your love language.

Here's what's cool about today's post. You don't have to do anything. Just absorb what I'm telling you and honor that you too have a superpower, that creativity is your love language.

For fun, I do invite you to do a little activity this week: writing love letters to the world.

One day, I was at this little river in Costa Rica feeling particularly receptive, particularly grateful, particularly open, and this beautiful little butterfly flew by me. I kid you not, she whispered, "Write your love letters to the world." She told me that, and so much so that tears nearly washed over me - and that was several years ago - I still use that messaging to myself. This idea, this poetic idea of writing your love letters to the world. Now, I happen to be a writer, but it is a metaphor. Your love letters may not be actual writing. It could be painting, jewelry making, pottery, singing, playing the guitar, whatever your medium is.

I give you this challenge and opportunity this week to write your love letters to the world. To think of someone. It could be someone close to you, someone that you know. It could be someone far away that you don't know. It could be a big broad audience. The world also is a metaphor. Write your love letters to the world. There's a recipient out there, and there's a love letter waiting to be created.

I invite you to own your superpower, that creativity is your love language, and invite you to just do a new creative project. Step outside of the big, huge creative thing you've been doing or the big dream that you're working on, and just do something small and sweet that you can contain in a little nutshell, and deliver it to that world, that world of one or that world of a million, and give. Create that piece of work just to ceremoniously acknowledge that creativity is your love language, to seal it in, to make it real, to put it in action, and to own it… because now you get to claim that superpower for the rest of your darling life.

Creativity is your love language.
Go use it. Write your love letters to the world.

Now go do your creative work.