Your creative work doesn’t matter… or does it?

Hey there, creatives. Today we are going to talk about how to conquer a limiting belief that, if you have it, is no doubt standing in your way to create the work that you are dying to create.

So, I had this limiting belief… and what's crazy is I didn't even realize it. I think that's true of a lot of our beliefs, particularly limiting beliefs, is that sometimes we don't even know they're there, but they are quietly dictating how we act and how we play out in the world.

So, story time. A couple years ago, I was working with a coach - this creative, beautiful, wonderful, energetic woman, and she helped me uncover a belief I didn't even know I had. And that belief was that my work didn't matter. I was doing my creative work, writing plays, starring in them with my husband and my incredible team of actors, and putting these works out there. I was doing the thing, but I wasn't doing it at the level or the scale that I wanted to. And she helped me really uncover why.

I won't do anything but my creative work. I'm way too stubborn. I'm doing it, but I'm struggling through it because I was holding this belief that my work doesn't matter. And once she helped me uncover it, of course, what she had me do, like any good coach would have you do, is write down the belief you'd like to hold instead. So, I got this little cute blue scrap of paper and I wrote, "My work matters." I put it on my mirror and it would look at me every single day. I would see it while I sit there and do my hair and makeup, and it would look at me.

For the first few weeks and months, I was like, no it doesn't. I felt it kind of forced me to dig deeper into that belief and figure out what was actually going on there. What I realized, and you may share some version of this - as a creative you may share the feeling that your work doesn't matter. What I realized is that I had a lot of feelings, like it was immature what I was doing. I'm literally playing. I mean, it's called a play. I write plays. I star in plays. When you go to them, it's called a play. We say thank you for playing with us. Is there any career more childish than this?

That said, we work really hard and we take it very seriously; but I was feeling so immature. Like how immature am I to just nurture this selfish need, this selfish selfish desire to just create? I want to write the stories, and then I want to be on the stage and I want to do it. And I want people to pay me for it. I was feeling a lot of shame and regret, like maybe I actually should have finished college. Maybe I should have chosen like a more grown-up career. Maybe I should have chosen a bigger city to live in with more economic stability. Maybe I should have chosen a job that has a salary and just pays better. I was going through all these things like it's just not that important. And it was made worse by the fact that I wasn't making it rain tons and tons of money, and I'd already had a family at this point. I had kids to take care of, and here I am just struggling my way through a creative career and feeling a lot of shame for it, knowing all the while we're having some success at it, right?

At this point we are having some success, but it's hard. We would have these shows and do meet and greets at the end, and it's super fun! After we do our bows and everyone's clapping and they've had a good time, we could see it. We have a small immersive theater, so it's really intimate. You can really feel people's feels. So I know that they're feeling it. I can feel them feeling it back, right? All the emotions we try to invoke within them, all the thoughts we try to provoke, I know it's happening. And then, just to make sure, we do a meet and greet at the end and we get to shake hands and give hugs and hear people's real feedback. So I know that the shows are having an impact on people, even if it's a small crowd, I know that they're having this impact.

I would go out after bows before we do the meet and greets and I would often say something like, "Thank you so much for coming tonight. We appreciate you."

And I say, "We ask for one last round of applause, but please wait because this last one is for you. Thank you for playing with us tonight.”

We applaud the audience and really thank them for coming.

So even though I have this validation that this work does matter to some people - to the the small crowds that we're playing to - I'm still going home at night feeling kind of like guilty for making these childish decisions. I literally play make believe. I write stories, then I get dressed up in a costume and I go on stage and pretend to be someone else… feeling so childish.

I put this beautiful mantra on my mirror: my work matters. And most days I thought, "No, it doesn't."

And then one day, my coach continued to help me through. And this was so silly, but it really resonated for me. It must have been right after Betty White had passed away just a few years ago, because she goes, "Okay, do you think Betty White's work matters?"

And I was like, "Okay, random. Why Betty White?"

But of course it does. Of course her work matters.

She's had this huge long career. She's a comedian. She makes people laugh and smile. She's done tons of things. She's obviously had positive relationships with a lot of the people that she's worked with. Millions of people have seen her work, and I'm sure she's made them laugh over and over again.

Of course her work matters. And my coach throws back at me, “But did she solve world hunger? Did she create world peace? Does her work matter?”

She kind of slapped me in the face with this idea. Do we have to end world hunger for our work to matter? Do we as creatives? Because you know damn good and well the answer is no. You know damn good and well that the answer is if your work is important to you, a someone who matters, then your work is important. Your work matters.

If you share your work with one other person and it matters to them, it pulls at one of their heartstrings, it makes them smile, makes them cry, then your work matters even more. You don't need audiences in the millions for your work to matter.

If your work matters to you, then your work matters. So if you have this limiting belief that your work is unimportant or doesn't matter, you need to uncover it. You need to look at why you feel that way. You need to think about Betty White and know that all creative work matters.

If you're making songs, writing music videos, if you're creating jewelry or pottery or paintings, taking pictures, whatever your medium… darling, your work matters. And if you don't know that, you have put your own ceiling above your head.

You can lift that ceiling up by writing down on a little torn up piece of paper, "My work matters." You can put it on your mirror. You can look at it and have an argument with it every day for the first few months. And then after a few months, you'll start to not even notice consciously that it's there anymore. This is good! Because as the subconscious notices it and reads it, it'll actually permeate a little bit more.

I've had this on my mirror for a few years now and I almost don't notice it anymore. When I do notice it, I certainly don't have an argument with it. In fact, I wink at it because I'm a theatrical dork and I go, "Yeah, I know. I know my work matters." And I do.

When I shifted that belief, my work got louder and bigger and more confident. More importantly than the impact or the audience reached, I just enjoyed it more. I started to feel more alive and happier in the creation process,

Creatives, we’re doing this because we enjoy it.

And by the way, on that note that maybe I should have a grownup job: I started to think about the jobs that I validate as “adult” jobs where the work does matter, like doctors and lawyers, or military people, or scientists, things like that. Things that require you to for sure finish college. I started thinking about it and one day I heard this little anecdote about some military guys and gals out in a desert. They weren't on a mission. It wasn't a war. They were testing explosives, and I know they were having a good time. They were in the desert blowing things up. You tell me they don't think that's fun. You tell me that they're not playing. ;)

I'm dressing up and writing scripts, playing make-believe and shopping for costumes. I know that I'm playing like a child. Guess what? So are they. They're blowing things up in the desert and they are loving every minute. Picture a scientist with some crazy degree - they're squeezing things into test tubes and looking at them under microscopes. You tell me they're not playing. Maybe they're going to create a vaccine that helps save some lives. Cool! Good for you. Your work matters. But they are also playing.

So just know that whatever your creative medium is, whoever you are, however many people you're sharing your work with, it does in fact matter. You matter. Your work matters. And the world is a more beautiful, rich, and diverse, and amazing place when you create and share your creations.

So if you've read this far, I'm guessing you are wrestling with a little bit of that limiting belief that your work doesn't matter. So here's your homework, darling: go write it down, put it on your mirror, and read it. Keep it there until you believe it, and then just keep it there anyways, just in case you ever stop believing that your work matters.

If you enjoyed this post, please do share it with a friend who's also creative and might be struggling in the same way. And if you want to dive deeper into the creative pool with me, then sign up here to receive my weekly newsletter. I would love to share more with you.

That's a wrap, darlings. Now, go do your creative work!